You white maggots

I didn't really like the idea of allowing umpires to wear colours other than white when white would have clashed with one of the teams' guernseys. But it's ridiculous that they wear anything but white when neither team is wearing any white in their guernseys. The afl seems to have no respect for tradition anymore.

Disgust

It still fills me with disgust that that competition on the afl website last year found that people thought Jason McCartney's comeback game was the most memorable moment in footy. There have been so many more memorable moments through the years, not least being Ted Whitten's final lap of the oval. I know the people who read the afl website would generally be youngish but it's still fucking outrageous.

It's a funny old game

As if the afl hadn't brought enough rule changes, Leigh Matthews now thinks they should introduce the 3 points for a rushed behind rule to the homne and away season.

Shockers

The Round 3 ponderings on the afl website talks about the dockers "great win" and lauds their maturity in the game against port. I don't think I've ever seen a team play worse and still win a game as the dockers did in that one. They were just lucky that port adelaide were even worse still.

Black-ban

Tom Cruise and Katie's Holmes's baby has arrived. They have named her TomKitten Suri Cruise.

I've had enough of famous people naming their children stupid names. Not only because it is leaving the children open for substantial teasing as children and adults, but also because it offends my sense of taste. So I'm going to start a black-ban of all stars who have named their children stupid things. The main ones I can think of are Gwynneth Paltrow and Chris Martin (for naming their daughter Apple) and Tom and Katie (even though it is going to hurt me not being able to watch Dawsons. Join me in failing to watch any movies or tv shows or listening to any music produced by any of these people, or anyone else who has named their children stupid things.

Please let me know other people we can black-ban. And please do all you can to promote this noble crusade to everyone you come across. Think of the children.

Update
Apparently the article I read was wrong and the baby is named Suri Cruise. But that doesn't change the bigger issue. Stand strong in your crusade.

Rooboy

It was disturbing to see Rooboy in the Collingwood coaches box today. But it wasn't the only thing that disturbed me about that game.

Roos

I'm not usually one to bash the media but it really pisses me off how the media keeps going on about us moving to Queensland. It's our (by our I mean the Kangaroos) decision to make and I wish they wouldn't keep pushing it. By talking up how few supporters and members we have they're likely to make it worse. And it's inaccurate anyway because last year we had a record number of members. Back off.

Good Friday

I offended 4 religions by eating my bacon double cheeseburger on good friday.

English (United States)

I hate how installers that have a list of languages often have English (United States) even if it's the only version of English in the drop-down. Why don't they just have English?

Mark Vaile

When asked whether he'd asked his staff why he hadn't been informed about the AWB kickbacks Mark Vaile said he hadn't. Surely that would be the first thing you would do when you "found out" that you hadn't been informed of a serious impropriety. In my opinion he's either lying or he's incompetent. Either way he shouldn't continue as Deputy Prime Minister or Trade Minister. I wasn't too fussed about the whole issue before but does he really think we're stupid enough to believe that he didn't ask?

Alcoholics Anonymous

Apologies if this offends anyone (bet you never thought you'd hear me say that).

South Park had an episode (the bloody mary one) about alcoholics anonymous in which Randy Marsh went to AA to cure his drinking. The people in the meeting started telling him that the only way he could stop drinking is by getting God to cure him of it. They went through the twelve steps and almost all of them were about God. I'd assumed that South Park had made up their own twelve steps but found out yesterday that they were the actual twelve steps. Alcoholic Anonymous really does say that you must ask God to cure you of your alcoholism. In fact a US court found that judges couldn't order criminals to attend AA because it breached the First Amendment (freedom of religion) as it was "unequivocally religious". AA helps a lot of people but the whole god thing and the idea that only through God can people give up alcohol strikes me as a little weird.

These are the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol; that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Dockers

Dockers fans are such gluttons for punishment. The dockers have broken a club record for memeberships this year.

Hairdressers

Why do hairdressers always ocmplement me on how thick my hair is right before they thin it out?

North Melbourne will be premiers, just you wait and see

The first challenge of our premiership year has been overcome.

Walk safely to school

This Friday is Walk Safely to School Day.